Sunday, April 29, 2012

Squirm

Yesterday I looked through this blog as if it was written by a stranger, it had been so long since I'd posted. And then I made the mistake of mentioning Warrior of the Lost World to my husband, so we ended up watching that again. With MST3K. Alvy Singer!

Then we tried to watch the 80s comedy Gorp, which was sold to me by my husband as "It's got Dennis Quaid! You like Dennis Quaid!" Well, Dennis Quaid, usually a cutie, was looking very much like Chet from Weird Science here, and for a comedy, it wasn't funny. Well, there was one funny part, when Fran Drescher said, "I'm Evie, and I do fuck." But that was the only part, so we turned it off.

But wait, isn't the title of this post "Squirm?" Yes, it is. Another movie we watched with MST3K enhancement, Squirm was filmed a couple of hours from where we live, in Port Wentworth, GA. Now, I've never heard of Port Wentworth, despite living in this area on and off my entire life, but my sources tell me it's basically in Savannah.

Now, if there's one thing I do know about Savannah, it's that they are eaten up with ghosts up there. And according to IMDb, Squirm director Jeff Lieberman said that the house where they filmed was one of the most haunted in Georgia. The trouble is, I couldn't find anything about the haunting online. What to do?

That's why I'm posting about Squirm. I'm hoping someone from Port Wentworth, or someone who worked on the movie, will come along and tell me the ghost story of the house in Squirm. Because I love me a ghost story. Won't you please help this ghoul out?

P.S. As B-movies from the 70s go, Squirm is actually good enough to watch without robot commentary. It's rare when that happens, isn't it?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Robert Altman's Nashville and Lucio Fulci's Zombie

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon. My son is with his father this weekend, a necessary bi-weekly visitation that makes sure that my heart is always sprained. My lovely husband is out doing the shopping, and I'm here in a completely self-indulgent mood, watching Robert Altman's Nashville again. To make it even more indulgent, I'll just live blog my impressions.

I'm very disappointed to know that the Henry Gibson character represents Hank Snow, because I have always been a fan of Snow's music. I wonder if there will come a time when our society's cult of celebrity collapses under the burden of knowing that so many of our idols are complete assholes. Ironically, it's the worship that makes them into assholes, unless only assholes become famous. I wonder if by looking up to musicians all fans appear as grating, pathetic, and clueless as Geraldine Chaplin's possibly fake documentarian and starfucker. We tell ourselves we're admiring their work and not them in the best cases.

I wonder if the Lily Tomlin character was meant to be a bad singer, and whether Lily Tomlin can actually sing.

I remind myself that Geraldine Chaplin must be a great talent to be able to play someone so annoying. The first time I saw her was in Jodie Foster's Home For the Holidays, where she also played a woman who could make the viewer black their own eye facepalming so hard. We tell ourselves we're admiring their work and not them in the best cases.

It's as if Altman predicted the Tea Party with the ubiquitous candidate on the loudspeaker in the van.

For once, Jeff Goldblum doesn't play an annoying character here.

There's a news man in a maroon sportcoat, in case anyone doesn't believe the spot-on satire contained in Anchorman. Men really dressed like that in 1975.

So sad to see Bill of Bill, Tom and Mary trying too hard at the airport.

Oh wow, is Tom horrible for asking Scott Glenn if he killed anyone this week. I'm a bit ashamed to be a liberal during that exchange.

When I get to heaven, I hope there is not need for lawyers. That does not mean I don't want any lawyers to get into heaven. I just hope they all get reassigned to jobs as college professors. In my heaven people have assignments.

When I lived in the Nashville area, I met too many country people who were afraid to drive in the city. I thought that they should call me after they'd lived and driven in Atlanta.

Did Lily Tomlin really just give the first passerby she saw some money to get her an ice cream, or was Ned Beatty near her in a separate car and came to check on her? I wonder if it's meant to say something about her character making the best of situations, eating ice cream while waiting for the wreck to clear.

Is Barbara Harris's character the bravest person in the film? She could be the least neurotic. Or is it that she just won't admit the possibility of failure? Maybe she is delusional, and there is no correlation between her intent and the way she ends up.

Sueleen Gay is definitely delusional. Cynically, I wonder if in today's age of autotune and manufactured country whether she would have become a singer after all. Why are she and Barbara Harris (Winifred) set up to contrast? They must be linked purposely by the filmmaker, the way that Winifred has to run from her husband in the same bar where Sueleen is singing, during Sueleen's "song."

Is there some cruel humor involved with Lily's character being a bad singer and her children being deaf? It's remarkable that the deaf boy still has a thick Southern accent.

It's important that Winifred causes another car wreck, does not notice, keeps on walking, and isn't even blamed by the drivers.

How did Jeff Goldblum end up with both Geraldine and Barbara on his bike when he takes them to the Hamilton party?

Haven Hamilton's son Buddy is one of the best singers in the film. How funny that Hamilton puts Geraldine in her place without even knowing how she just insulted his son by running off during Buddy's beautiful song.

I will finish my thoughts on Nashville at another time, as I stopped the movie at the Grand Old Opry scene.

My husband came in with the food and we switched to Fulci's Zombie. We had the last half hour left over from our viewing of the night before. Things I noticed upon this viewing: the last 15 minutes of this movie make me mark out. I love the way the theme song starts up as the majority of the zombies in the old cemetery sit up. Another great use of music is the rock guitar that plays as we see the zombies eating the doctor's wife. It's shocked faces of the four main characters, the dead body, the shocked faces, then the music and the zombies eating. Both my husband and I simultaneously wondered what the zombies were actually eating; we also thought at the same time to compare Brian's reaction to Susan's death to the annoying girl in 1981's My Bloody Valentine who is in denial of their situation and doesn't want to climb the ladder. But the best insight I took from this viewing, in keeping with my earlier thoughts of Nashville and the cult of celebrity: Tisa Farrow is unknown to most moviegoers. That's because she stopped acting and became an ICU nurse many years ago. In my opinion, her contribution to the world has therefore been far greater than her uber-famous sister's. brood of adopted kids notwithstanding.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

It's Fri-eee-day

This week I watched:
Ghostbusters
Joseph Campbell: Sukhavati
Suspiria
Profondo Rosso
The Black Cat

Monday, September 19, 2011

Weekend Wrapup

Joysticks - Unfunny sex comedy, in which the kids beat the big bad businessman and then one of them fucks the bad guy's wife at the end. Good shots of classic video games though, and Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle Rico as a punk named King Vidiot.



Fraternity Vacation - You can look at Tim Robbins and think, "that guy's going far." Not really. It's a much better movie than Joysticks, though.



Carnival of Souls - Before I started watching horror movies every day and posting in my horror blog, this was my favorite horror film. That's not to take anything away from Carnival, it's just that I've seen so many now that I can't pick a favorite. It's definitely my favorite 60s horror that's not 2000 Maniacs or The Whip and the Body.

Watched it in color, with the Mike Nelson commentary. Herk Harvey is scary when the movie is in color; he really looks other worldly and you can see how the makeup influenced so many other films. The ghouls contrast so much more creepily when they are the only ones in black and white (well, greenish white anyway). Not my favorite Mike commentary, but still good as at this point he's like an old friend.



The Social Network - Finally got around to watching this one; took me a couple of days as I started it Wednesday and finished it today (Monday). At first I felt sorry for Mark Zuckerberg (I have a soft spot for aspies, being the mother of one) and then I didn't when I saw how vengeful he was. Aspies can be taught to be responsible for their actions and to consider other people's feelings.

On the other hand, it was refreshing to watch someone screw someone over in business for personal reasons rather than greed. I can empathize with hurt feelings, but not with the mindset that there is no amount of money that is enough. The "nothing personal, just business" way of thinking puts flames on the sides of my face. What kind of world do we live in where a guy can rob one bank and get life in jail, but a bank exec can rob thousands of people and get a tax break? If Jesus is coming, he'd better come on.



Back to the movie, the best part was that I discovered that "California Love" was a cover of a kickass song called "West Coast Poplock" which played during the ziplining off the roof scene and which I can't stop listening to. Even my cat loves that song. He goes and lies down right in front of the speaker and grooves on the bass.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Eagle vs Silver Fox

Eagle vs Silver Fox (1980) is one of the best bad kung fu flicks I've seen. You are free to interpret that statement as you wish. There's a pretty good pre-credits fight between the titular Silver Fox and some guy who is hiding a piece of paper with a message which Fox wants. Right before he kills the messenger by kicking him in the chest three times, Silver Fox jumps up and grabs the guy around the neck with his bent leg and kicks him in the head with his other leg, which was pretty impressive.



The credits are hilarious, because the words fly to the front of the screen out of trees, a guy's shin, and, in the case of the executive producer's credit, out of a guy's ass.

Next we see another group of guys receiving a message to transport from some guys at a monastery. The message looks like two Chinese characters on a sheet of paper; I don't know why one of them doesn't just memorize it, but I guess then the movie would be over. Of course, Silver Fox (who is the villain here, by the way) sends another group of dudes to get this message too, and during the fight we see one of the bad guys doing some shifty eyes. When they get back to Silver Fox they don't have the message because they threw all the bodies in the river. But Fox doesn't punish them for this bit of genius. Somehow he knows that the shifty eyed guy was working against him and let one man escape with his life, so Fox crushes his throat.



Some old dude finds the guy who was let go with his life lying by the riverside and takes him to his house, then begins coughing. Next we see a bunch of assholes walking along, jumping around and being obnoxious on their way to one of those inn/teahouses you see in every one of these movies. My husband was pretty impressed when I said there was gonna be a fight in the teahouse and I turned out to be right; that's because I've seen a couple of kung fu movies. The owner of the place was cowardly and the gang leader talked like Snidely Whiplash.



The guy who fought them all before they could really do any damage, but after they ran off all the customers, was of course the man who escaped from Silver Fox's guys earlier. The fight was cool, because he fought two of them by throwing chicken at them and making them catch it in their mouths, and a third guy got thrown up the bannister and then slid back down and racked himself on the newel.

I should tell you now that in the teahouse there is a pickpocket character who starts off as a man with a female dubbing the voice, leaves, and comes back with the same female voice actor doing the dubbing but now the actor is female too. She robs the hero, he robs her back, and then she follows him off down the road. Then things get nonsensical. They meet an old man and the pickpocket lady asks him for some food. He kicks her ass, and then starts telling our hero a long story about his own training that ends up being a flashback back to the coughing guy who rescued the hero. Then we get a long boring training sequence including the trainee standing in a river while a Sousa type march plays. Then he accidentally kills the trainer, we go back to the present, and there is some more fighting with a different roving band of jerks. The lady man falls in the river, goes to change clothes, then is peeped on by some itchy guy who appears from behind a bush. Then we learn that the chick was supposed to have been disguising herself as a guy! This is the first time I've ever seen that plot device used when the character was played by a man in an earlier scene. Even Tommy Wiseau used actors of the same gender when a character was inexplicably played by two actors in The Room.



Oh boy. Now the leader of the first gang meets up with a member of the second gang at the teahouse, and they commiserate about having been beaten up by our hero and pickpocket. "Ha, ha, you got beat up by a girl." "You got beat up by a girl too! Wait, that was a girl?" Then it comes out that all the marauders are part of the original group who killed the second messenger. They probably were different actors in the beginning too, since I didn't recognize them.

Hero guy tries to teach pickpocket lady that fighting is wrong by, what else, fighting her. He even takes her hand and hits her in the face with it. Thankfully, he doesn't say "why are you hitting yourself?" while he does it.

Back at the teahouse, a bald thug from the beginning joins the other wounded thugs, only his voice actor has changed from the dumbass "which way did he go, George" guy to Bob Hoskins. There's another fight with these thugs. Pickpocket lady beats Bob Hoskins/Lenny with a spoon and Hero chokes the other two. The old guy from earlier appears on top of a rock.



The bodies get back to Silver Fox somehow and as they lie on the lawn Bob is taken to task for having survived. Fox opines that "everything you want done, you must do yourself." Fox surmises that the hero and the pickpocket are after him right before receiving a note to that effect. The henchmen beg him to let them kill the two, who are meanwhile hanging out with the old guy and have now admitted to each other that they know they are old acquaintances who have been betrothed since they were younger. Hero plans to fight Fox to the death tomorrow and I can't fucking wait. The girl tearfully begs to go to the fight too and the old man laughs maniacally.

Then in a lovely blue-colored day to night sequence (we know it's night because of the cricket sounds) the old man finds two new thugs outside and beats the shit out of them while trying to keep them quiet. I guess he doesn't want to wake the lovers? He actually takes one guy's hand, holds it over his head and spins him around like a dance partner.



At daylight our hero meets Bob and another bald dude in a field. He says he wants to fight Silver Fox, not two boiled eggs. He jumps up and stands with one foot on each of their heads. They put him in a coffin. He climbs out and fights them with gratuitous reverb sound effects, then sends them back on a wagon covered in burlap to where Fox is ill-advisedly hosting a premature victory party. He orders the burlap removed, then he and the music act like we're supposed to be surprised that dead henchmen are in fact revealed. I don't know how the Fox dude made it to this movie, which is a sequel, he is so dumb.

Hero arrives and Fox asks if it is his custom to come announced. Hero asks if he needs an invitation to come and kill him! (Oh, snap). The old man displays some more appearing powers, and uses some kind of tickle fu on some bad guys, then sits down and eats Fox's huge feast while watching pickpocket lady fight some guys with swords. Fox seems to have the upper hand, even dealing Hero a very dusty foot to the face and later standing on his thighs like they're doing a cheerleading stunt and smacking him in the face. Finally the old man helps out and they kill Fox just as the movie reveals that he is the reincarnation/ghost of the dead trainer. And you thought the bad guys were gonna win! Last line of the film, from the old man: "merciful Buddha, I thank you."



Like I said, this is a good bad movie. It's not even so bad it's good; it's in the odd condition of being good and bad at the same time. You can find it on DVD as a Black Belt Theater release. Unlike many such old kung fu DVDs, this one has trailers and deleted fight scenes. I recommend you do if you like fighting for the sake of seeing the choreography, but not if you enjoy a good plot.